7 Mistakes Men Make When Approaching Women
This weeks edition of Doc's Phreakin' Weekend Tips is all about Approaching Women. Read, learn and use these tips and be sure not to crash and burn on the runway again. Lots of experience and research has gone into finding out where most men crash when approaching women.
Body language is one of the most powerful forms of communication. Many people fail to realize the way you carry yourself can deliver more information in your message and anything you can actually say. This is why it is very important when approaching a female or anyone else for that matter that you convey strong confident body language.
What does that mean? Head up, shoulders back, eyes forward, you have heard it before so this should be no surprise. This baseline posture causes an elongation of the torso and makes you look stronger and slimmer regardless of body type. Pay close attention to the often overlooked subtleties. Avoid placing your hands in your pockets, crossing your arms or other behaviors that communicate you are closing off your approachability and openness. A little bit of discipline in your posture will go a long way to making you look like a datable man
Stupid or Cliché Openers
It cannot be stressed enough, stupid or cliché openers are a guaranteed way to fail or get your approach shut down faster than a “Michael Vick Dog Walking Service.” Think about it, how often do you think she has been hit on and what are the chances of you coming up with something totally original. Yes, it is important to break the ice and create an open conversational dialogue. It is paramount that you first read the situation. Look at your surroundings and find something to talk to her about.
Say you are standing in line for coffee or drinks, ask her a recommendation and then why she picked her selection. She will give you an answer and, in most cases, she’ll be very descriptive in the process. Why? Because women think and communicate in emotions and sensations. If you are asking the right questions and paying attention - really paying attention - you will find ways to expand her conversations and keep her talking about the things she loves. Knowing what she loves is the key to any female’s heart. Remembering these points will also show her you are caring and attentive.
Talking too Much
The absolute best way to impress women is to not try to impress women. She doesn’t really care about how awesome you are or how many times you wrestled a grizzly bear in the forest. What she is really concerned with is will you be able to care for her and, most importantly, would you pay attention to her when she needs it. One of the biggest mistakes most men make when talking to women is talking too much. Guys need to learn to listen, a woman will tell you the sexiest thing about a man is his ears and if he posses the ability to listen. Ask any women who has cheated on her man and she will tell you the other guy payed her more attention and was willing to listen to her when she needed a shoulder to cry on.
Listening to her with the auditory focus of a “Jack Russell Terrier” will impress her immensely because, truth is, most men cannot do it. Take some time and practice by talking to your sisters, mother or coworkers. Keep your mind in the moment and see how long you can be attentive without thinking of the over under line in the next big rivalry game. At some time later you will be able to recall a point of fact or a detail you picked up whilst talking to her, when you bring this point back up she’ll be shocked because, like stated before, most men cannot do this.
Poor Eye Contact
Staring at the ground or inability to maintain eye contact is a sure sign of lack of self-confidence. No woman wants to be with an unconfident man. The basics of nature or survival of the fittest, regardless of what you call it, you need to show confidence. The clear method to convey confidence is eye contact, which is why in some cultures a man is not allowed to look directly in the eyes of his superiors without penalty.
Luckily for us, eye contact is purely a respect thing and it also shows a person that you were paying attention. As stated above, paying attention is key. When maintaining eye contact, be certain you are looking at her eyes not her cleavage. No matter what you do keep your eyes out of the cleavage, pay more attention to her eye color or special characteristics. Remember, look at her and not the other women or other people moving about, she wants to know that she has your undivided attention. Even if Olivia Munn walks by, pretend your neck is in traction and don’t even flinch. You owe it to all single men, if you see a buddy break this rule… give’em “Two for Flinching!”
Today is your lucky day, she spoke to you and maybe you felt there was a connection. This is good but this is also the part where 90% of single men screw up the whole deal. Her responsive dialogue and the showing of interest is not the sign to take the corner at full speed. Doing so now will surely end up with you smashing headlong into the safety wall. Ok Formula 1 analogies aside, remember women love mystery and intrigue. You have to give her some space to let her fantasies and curiosity flourish. It is a huge part of what makes her a women. When you notice there is a little bit of interest, excuse yourself politely and walk away. This is a way of showing her you have options and this also makes her want you more. We all tend to want what we cannot have, it’s human nature.
Consulting the BFF
Men, in an effort to take a shortcut, will often make the mistake of consulting a female prospects “Bestie” for advice. Pay close attention, never consult her best friend. It simply causes too many complications. Friends and family often feel they need to hook their loved ones up say after a breakup, slump or another traumatic event. Thinking they are doing them a favor when all that person wants is more time to heal or time to be single, to regather and regroup. Be forewarned, you may be thrown into a tempest unknowingly or get stuck with the always-dangerous rebound case. Just stay away from meddling friends - it never ends well.
Not asking for the Digits
Finally, you need to remember to have the confidence to ask for the number. The fastest way to lose the game is to hold on to the ball and not take the winning shot. You definitely cannot win if you are not playing the game. Many female friends come seeking advice and counsel inquiring as to why the guy she really likes never asks her for the digits.
PROTIP: An easy way to take it slow in the modern era, ask her for some form of connection to her via social networks. Social Networking is less committal and not as invasive. Once you have the precious information use it wisely, don’t become a Facebook or Twitter stalker.
There you have a short but easy to remember list. Keep these points in mind at all times when you are approaching women. There are a lot more things to cover but hey let’s start with the basics. Try these tips out this weekend and let us know how it went.