High Society Man

return to manliness

A Guide to being a Grown Ass Man and obtaining all the benefits of doing so. You can fake Swagger but you cannot fake Class and Style! -HSM

Certified Number Theory - When 7 Equals 10

I am going to talk to all of you about the very difficult to swallow reality of dating. I’m going to introduce the concept of what I call the “Certified Number”. WARNING: This post may hurt a bit and may be hard for some of you to agree. It’s ok…I’m going to say it anyway, because I see this go down every weekend and it truly is silly.

“The Certified Number”

I have to say that the idea of the Certified Number is not my own. Furthermore, not very many people know it by that specific term. I’m not sure where I first heard it or who coined the phrase, but that is irrelevant to the validity of this rule. Basically, the “Certified Number” is doing a self assessment and scoring yourself on the preverbal 0–10 scale. You know good and well where you sit on this scale. You also know if you have a chance of moving up or down this scale with a little work. I don’t mean to say that doing this so called work is necessary to impress or win anyone over, rather do it for yourself. Once you know your number you gotta OWN IT. Zero to Ten where ever you are, that’s your Certified Number.

The difficulty of the CN is getting folks to be truly honest with themselves and comfortable with owning the correct number.

Let’s look at dating for a second. If logically the average man is a 5 and he thinks he is a solid 8, he naturally thinks he should be dating a 10. Before you get ticked at me, blame Blake Edwards and Bo Derek. The flaws starts with the fact that females who are 10’s have every male in the planet attempting to get with her. Men or Women who are 10’s also have the pick of the litter and normally only want date…you guessed it, 10’s. This causes a disproportionate number of 10’s to be shallow, difficult, selfish, & narcissistic with serious commitment issues. And yes, I know that there are exceptions to every rule. Still most 10’s can’t help but be a royal pain in the ass.

Like the men, our female counterparts regardless of number have been brainwashed by Pitt, Clooney, Statham, Cruise, and Diesel movies. From the 1’s to the 10’s women covet and go after the tall, dark, handsome, stellar physique, well dressed, wealthy, educated, sophisticated, world traveler, self-made millionaire. So therefore, the average guy 5 has a hard time because she too is looking for Mr. Right to be a 10.

Solving the “Certified Number” Dilemma

The solution is easy. People need to work within a lil wiggle room, the grace space or sliding scale if you will. We all need to work with a two number deviation.

What does this look like? - If you are a 5 you get to talk to a 3 or a 7 - If you a 9 you get to hollar at a 7 or a 11(Demi Lovato or Megan Fox)

So there you go…a simple solution. Much easier on the ego than rejection or worse yet on your criminal record for say…stalking. If you can learn to work within your number, you will slowly but surely gain some experience and confidence. In my last post on confidence, you’ll remember that confidence alone can boost your score by a few points. A confident and classy 6 is a 9 to most women(It’s been working for me anyway).

If you think I’m wrong, just go to the mall or better yet to Wal-Mart(Eww!). You’ll see a loving couple of 2’s who just can’t get enough of each other much to our dismay. They will always be the happiest couple in the room no matter where the journey takes them. Generally, if you’re disagreeing with me, it’s because something I said hit you emotionally and/or rubbed you the wrong way. That is fair. It doesn’t negate the fact that my observations are founded in a lot of experience with people watching.

What may look average on the outside, could be golden on the inside. -My Friend Brandy

The Upside of the “Certified Number”

The ladies out there who are 7’s or 8’s have been crushed, hurt, or damaged by our kettle belling constitutes and are normally cool with being with a 5 or 6 as long as he is a gentlemen through and through.

Think of it like sports…when coaches used to tell us to just get back to hitting singles or 5 yards at a time. Eventually these little progressive steps will help you. Who knows, a little compromise may help you find a mislabeled 10 mixed in the 7 or 8 section. So let the other average guys chase the poster girls with low self esteem, because there is a diamond in the rough out there waiting for you.

NOTE: It's important to remember your the only opinion of yourself that matters is your own. I'm here to give you some advice and hope you'll find some take aways that help you in your life.