Hovering is Creepy
This weekend’s edition of Doc’s Phreaking Weekend Tips is inspired by a real life incident I saw first hand last weekend at my club. Gentlemen, I cannot stress this one enough: No HOVERING.
Every male in the planet is guilty of this at one time or another so don’t feel bad if this is you. Just make a note to yourself that this behavior is highly unacceptable, creepy as hell and illegal in some parts of the world.
What is Hovering?
You know exactly what it is, you see an object of your desire and you strategically place yourself in her vicinity hopping for the perfect moment to arise so you can make your move. Scenario two: you had the bawls to speak to her and she smiled or gave a pleasant response maybe she even had a decent conversation with you. Your misguided inclination is to hang out with her and try to form a deeper bond so you go all 1960s NASA on her and start HOVERING.
Like a tractor beam from a bad sci-fi movie, she moves and you move, she goes to dance you follow, she goes out side for a smoke, boom you’re hunting a “Cowboy Killer” and you haven’t smoked since the seventh grade.
HOVERING is absolutely annoying according to all my female friends. Hell I hate it when women hover around me. The thing to remember is a little mystery goes a long way. It is all about the stick and move. After a brief chat excuse yourself politely and simply walk away, it will create more desire if she likes you. You’ll be able to gauge her interest in you if she gives you the come hither eyes from across the room. You can further increase the tension by not jumping up right away and running over to her like Usain Bolt. Take your time, smile to show her you have received the hint but make her wait a bit. When the time is right go give her a little more attention but not too much. I know this sounds counter productive but ask your Wing Woman, she’ll tell you.
The Are You Hovering Questionnaire:
- Does she seem to be trying to put some distance between you
- Is she giving you monosyllabic, abrupt or one word answers
- Is she spending more time talking to other people in the group
- Is she not acknowledging you are there (ignoring you)
- You put yourself in her sightline and she looks away promptly
- She tells you to FUCK OFF
- She calls the COPS
If you are guilty of any of these you are probably being super creepy and hovering. If you have not already read the HSM post on dealing with rejection or having the confidence to make the first move, familiarize yourself with those tips too. It will make you ready to take on the world.