Watch for these relationship RED Flags
This weekends edition of Doc’s Phreakin’ Weekend Tips is going to take some focus off of the fellas and look at the women for a quick minute. As you gentlemen are hitting the dating scene, you are going to need to know when you are about to step on a land-mine.
Spotting the RED FLAGS
There are a few automatic DQ or disqualifying actions or behaviors a man is going to need to know how to spot when out in the field. Like a trained Mercenary with the senses of say Jason Bourne you are going to have to spot these RED FLAGS no matter how well she tries to conceal them or how blinded you are by her deep hazel eyes and a rack that would make Scarlett jealous.
The “I”s have it
Back in the day before all the cars had electric locks there was sure fire way to see if a female was selfish or not. You may remember the “Bronx Tale Test” where you would approach your car and open her door then walk around the back of the car to see if she would lean over and open the door for you. Well thanks to the homeys in D-Town most cars have automatic locks. Now you have to trust your judgement. Now we are on the watch for the girl who starts every sentence with her favorite vowel “I.”
The Buy Me Drinkie Babe
This one is super easy. It is totally ok to buy a women a drink; however it should come at your offering not her insistence. If a random female rolls up on you and ask you to buy her or worse yet her and her friends a drink just turn around and run. You will soon find yourself in a no win situation that is going to cost you a mint.
The Cat Lady
Be extremely cautious of any female who has a remarkably unhealthy relationship with her animals. Inordinate amounts of affection to her feline or canine companions means you will always be second best. Pay close attention to the times she has to excuse herself to walk, feed or wash the dog or cat. If you are not careful you will find yourself sharing a bed with Felix or Scruffy when you should be working on a sweet rise and shine session with your lady.
Rebounds are Always Trouble
Look, this requires about four months of explanation so rather than go there just avoid them like syphilis.
The Personal Assistant
If you are rolling with your lady and she keeps looking over at your mobile every time if buzzes or blinks you need to get out. This women is most likely a graduate of Oprah Espionage School and will be clocking your every movement like she was on a stakeout of a bad cop show. You will never get away from the “who’s that?” or the always irritating “where are you and when are you coming back and why do I hear girls voices in the background?” machine gun inquisitions. You know what I’m talking about because to be honest this is also some of you.
The LTR Guided Missile
It is a known fact that for the most part we are all looking for that right person to settle down with. However, if she starts asking you about the LTR (Long Term Relationship) while you are still on the initial handshake get out of there. It’s not going to end well. If nearly every conversation is about planning your wedding and your potential kids names take this a giant flashing red get the fuck out of dodge light. This is a sing that you will never ever wear the pants in the household ever again.
The Drama Queen
If you are having a casual conversation and most of what you hear is about all the people hating on her, her bitch co-workers, he ex-boyfriends new slutty tramp-stamp clad hussies or any extended talk of the ex-BF himself you have just found your self a drama queen. This Ice Cream is not scrump-dilly-icious so get out while you can and before you get beat up by her NFL Middle Linebacker Ex-Beaux.
Dumb as A Box of Rocks
Stupid is not ever going to translate in to a positive thing no matter how hot she is. Don’t be tempted by the low hanging fruit.
This is a short list of the many “Red Flags” we will be going over them in more detail for sure in later post. Get out there gentlemen but hey… Watch your six.